I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
