Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
