it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
