Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
