we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
