...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
