I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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