There was a lot of him and a little penis
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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