Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Jerry, you need to find god
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
