I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
