it was like his penis was on wheels.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
