Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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