If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
