How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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