so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize