I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
