Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize