Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize