after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
