Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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