You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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