does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
