I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize