either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
