u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
