On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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