I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
