She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
