$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
