Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
