I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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