i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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