You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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