You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
