My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize