I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
