Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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