I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize