Can i not drive my cunt home
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
