To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was confusing and full of hummus
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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