i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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