this just has baby written all over it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
