I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
