May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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