I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
