I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
