Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
