He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize