I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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