You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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