4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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