I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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