and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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