Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
