i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
