allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
