At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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