If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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