I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have demons in me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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