It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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