Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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