he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
